A few interesting lines

A few interesting lines. :) I take no credit for any of them. :)

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

I thought I'd found Miss Right, didn't realise her first name was Always.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

Procrastinate Now!

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

:D

Very good.some very good laughs there Rolf :-rolling

" The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

Think you may have started something here Rolf. I have a list (all mine) as long as your arm most of which I wouldn't dare put on here but I picked this one out at random......

There's just one thing wrong with some people......they breath.

Pete.

You should see some of the lines my sons send me.They forget their mother is a lady.:D
Not fit for a website

If you REALLY want to offend someone who is getting on your nerve Beryl, why not try......

Why don't you give it a break sometime......preferably your neck.

Pete.

I wouldn't want to offend any one
Gosh

Whoooops!

All good fun Beryl and certainly not to be taken serious.

Pete.

I know. :)
Have you seen the thread Important notice

How about this? It does wonders for me


Spell Checker Poem

Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It's rare lea ever wrong.